[ ... ah. it'd be quite the week to try it too, he knows. he doesn't have his usual power that makes it incredibly annoying and ill-advised to try, and he's injured. still.
he grabs his hat, which is admittedly a little singed by now, and plops it down on her head ]
You should be pissed. [ lightly. ] There's no one here I wouldn't be embarrassed to be killed by.
[ugh. she loves this stupid hat, and her hand automatically comes up and touches it. reassuring. it's reassuring, that he's here and it'd be stupid for people to try to make him go anywhere.]
Yeah, I'd have to pretend I didn't know you if you got killed by like, literally anybody here. [but, you know. reigen killed yae miko. and she knows how tough yae was.
her fingers run over the brim of his hat, and she doesn't meet his gaze.]
It'd be better. I'd never live down being that much of a loser.
[ there's a pause as he looks at her. he can't guarantee no one would ever target him, even though i, zia, know that the world is against me, ]
... You know, I'm just as worried about anyone targeting you. [ she doesn't have her own powers right now, either. but he's not saying it because of that, but because he's worried about it every damn week, and he's not sure if nimona knows that ]
[there's a couple different answers to this that fight to crawl up to the surface, and what makes it out is the one she wants to say the least, which is:]
... A lot of people here like you. [ it's what he starts with, because he actually-- he gets that sentiment. more than she knows, and more than he needs to say right now. but the follow up probably hints at it anyway ] I know it's different. And it probably feels unbelievable, a lot of the time.
she struggles a lot with this, and he probably knows that. it's absolutely unbelievable to her that there are people who tolerate her existence enough to keep coming back. it's fucking terrifying. because this is about the point, this is the turning point - this is the longest it ever is. there's a line that she will cross and it will be one more person, it'll be a whole group of smiling faces that turn sour and the worst part is she doesn't know where the line is. she will just walk over it on accident one day and that'll be it.
she runs her fingers over his hat again. trying to remind herself she should enjoy what she has.]
It doesn't feel real, sometimes. [she wonders if this is death, sometimes. if she managed to do what she was going to do before she got here.]
[ he looks at her for a little while longer before he turns his gaze to the sky because i'm assigning them as being outside ]
... It doesn't always to me, either. [ said a little hesitantly, like it's a secret he's never admitted out loud. ] But I'd never be clever enough to imagine someone like you, so.
there's a pause, and she shifts and crawls under his arm, leaning against him.]
You're not that stupid. [she mumbles.] You could probably manage if you tried.
[but she's not arguing, really. and then, very quietly, because - he said that, that little hesitation, and it comes out without her meaning to, really:]
[ he lifts the arm to help her fit, curling it around her shoulder. he is not going to argue he could not because it's not a real argument, but also, only nd stevenson could think of nimona lbr. and because the follow up quiet comment is... ]
... I... [ he can't promise her something like that without being a liar, is the thing, but: ] I'm not going anywhere.
[ not yet, at least, while he can help it, and that feels bad to think, and he feels like he owes her something better than that, but he doesn't know what to say ]
[she worries, a lot. quietly, but enough. she doesn't know that anybody will go after him because in her view, why would they. so many people here really love him, and killing him would make so many enemies, it wouldn't be worth it. and she has to remind herself of this, but that doesn't do anything about the world he might be going back to. he was in jail, he told her, ages ago.
she leans heavily against him.]
I'm not going anywhere either.
[she tells him, and it's fierce, if maybe a little wobbly. until she finds that line, she won't leave.]
[ "so many people really love him" [ace voice] wait really
he lets her lean instead of going to the hospital like he should ]
Good. 'Cause I've never been any good at losing people I care about. [ no one is, but ace thinks himself particularly bad at it. and again, it's trying to tell nimona with words, because she's never heard them, even if he feels awkward stating it. not because he's got any problem admitting to these things, but because he's never put much weight into it coming from himself. it's not that big of a deal when it's just coming from him and all. ]
[i'm going to bonk him on the head. me personally.
she hears it, this time. third time's the charm, right, hey, stupid, i care about you - and it's scary and it makes her heart feel like it's going to explode and there's a burning behind her eyes at it, but. it's one of the best feelings in the world.
she turns and just full on hugs him again because it's the only way she can really get it across. maybe if she holds on tight enough he'll get it. how much she cares, and how much it means to hear him say it.]
Me either. [and then, just because she has to, she has to make sure, because there's been so many times that she couldn't say it and regretted it later:] I care about you.
[ a bonk will not fix him. but good news, she says it and he doesn't look pikashocked, for once, just like he didn't at the hug. hugs her back and all. ]
... Thank you. [ for caring. he's said it before, but now he's also saying thanks for saying it out loud. he knows it isn't easy for her. ]
[she says, and she half-laughs when she says it, a sort of hiccuppy, wet giggle. like disbelief. like what are you saying thank you for - like of course. like relief, because he didn't seem surprised, this time.]
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You're a much cooler wolf, but this one wasn't so bad.
[ the fight thing makes him huff ]
Do you think I'm a weakling? 'Course I can. If I couldn't fight just because of a little vision loss, I would've never made it anywhere on the sea.
[ it's an exaggeration very. clearly. considering "little" vision loss, but he is also sincere in his belief ]
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No, I don't think you're a weakling. [...] I just wanna know how mad I'd have to be at you if I woke up and you were dead.
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he grabs his hat, which is admittedly a little singed by now, and plops it down on her head ]
You should be pissed. [ lightly. ] There's no one here I wouldn't be embarrassed to be killed by.
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Yeah, I'd have to pretend I didn't know you if you got killed by like, literally anybody here. [but, you know. reigen killed yae miko. and she knows how tough yae was.
her fingers run over the brim of his hat, and she doesn't meet his gaze.]
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[ there's a pause as he looks at her. he can't guarantee no one would ever target him, even though i, zia, know that the world is against me, ]
... You know, I'm just as worried about anyone targeting you. [ she doesn't have her own powers right now, either. but he's not saying it because of that, but because he's worried about it every damn week, and he's not sure if nimona knows that ]
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I'm surprised someone hasn't already.
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she struggles a lot with this, and he probably knows that. it's absolutely unbelievable to her that there are people who tolerate her existence enough to keep coming back. it's fucking terrifying. because this is about the point, this is the turning point - this is the longest it ever is. there's a line that she will cross and it will be one more person, it'll be a whole group of smiling faces that turn sour and the worst part is she doesn't know where the line is. she will just walk over it on accident one day and that'll be it.
she runs her fingers over his hat again. trying to remind herself she should enjoy what she has.]
It doesn't feel real, sometimes. [she wonders if this is death, sometimes. if she managed to do what she was going to do before she got here.]
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... It doesn't always to me, either. [ said a little hesitantly, like it's a secret he's never admitted out loud. ] But I'd never be clever enough to imagine someone like you, so.
[ nudges her lightly with his knee ]
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there's a pause, and she shifts and crawls under his arm, leaning against him.]
You're not that stupid. [she mumbles.] You could probably manage if you tried.
[but she's not arguing, really. and then, very quietly, because - he said that, that little hesitation, and it comes out without her meaning to, really:]
Don't leave me behind.
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... I... [ he can't promise her something like that without being a liar, is the thing, but: ] I'm not going anywhere.
[ not yet, at least, while he can help it, and that feels bad to think, and he feels like he owes her something better than that, but he doesn't know what to say ]
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she leans heavily against him.]
I'm not going anywhere either.
[she tells him, and it's fierce, if maybe a little wobbly. until she finds that line, she won't leave.]
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he lets her lean instead of going to the hospital like he should ]
Good. 'Cause I've never been any good at losing people I care about. [ no one is, but ace thinks himself particularly bad at it. and again, it's trying to tell nimona with words, because she's never heard them, even if he feels awkward stating it. not because he's got any problem admitting to these things, but because he's never put much weight into it coming from himself. it's not that big of a deal when it's just coming from him and all. ]
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she hears it, this time. third time's the charm, right, hey, stupid, i care about you - and it's scary and it makes her heart feel like it's going to explode and there's a burning behind her eyes at it, but. it's one of the best feelings in the world.
she turns and just full on hugs him again because it's the only way she can really get it across. maybe if she holds on tight enough he'll get it. how much she cares, and how much it means to hear him say it.]
Me either. [and then, just because she has to, she has to make sure, because there's been so many times that she couldn't say it and regretted it later:] I care about you.
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... Thank you. [ for caring. he's said it before, but now he's also saying thanks for saying it out loud. he knows it isn't easy for her. ]
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Don't thank me, dummy.
[she says, and she half-laughs when she says it, a sort of hiccuppy, wet giggle. like disbelief. like what are you saying thank you for - like of course. like relief, because he didn't seem surprised, this time.]
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[ so there!!! but it's a lot better when she's laughing, even if it's kind of a wet one. he will be nice and ignore that. ]